14 oct 2004 a.d. hope

it amazes me- th' things God does and th' way he works-- we've been with psalters now for about a month-- and it seems that th' passion that originally drew us to them is missing-- an overwhelming sense of uninspiration seems to come upon us all at times-- and our shows are usually mediocre at best--- not th' type that i'm used to experiencing at a psalters show-- but then there's someone at almost every show that comes to us afterwards-- maybe even a few days after-- and tells us how God impacted or changed their heart at one of our shows-- and often times it's someone who's been thru an exteme amount of pain or hardship-- not that most of us haven't-- life is very hard and no one breezes thru it-- but there are those who experience a life that i can't imagine being able to make it thru-- and those people tend to find us and be drawn to us and it amazes me because we listen to or watch recordings of our shows and it almost always sounds horrible-- or at most ok-- never extraordinary-- and yet still they come with tales of how God completely reached into their heart and moved them-- and that th' sound is one of a passionate cry to God-- which is what we hope for it to be, but rarely feel like it is -- yet still God uses us-- maybe just because we're willing and making ourselves available-- maybe because deep down inside all of us is a strong desire to feel God's presence even tho we get apathetic and lazy about it-- so if God can use us apathetic little creatures inwardly longing for him with all of our unfeeling hearts-- he can use you to-- don't give up--- just when we think all has been ruined God shows up ---